top of page


I thought my CCR instructor was being hyperbolic. Melodramatic.

"If you do this for long enough," He had said, before accepting me as a student, "You are going to lose friends diving. You need to be OK with that."

"I'm not OK with that," I said.

I'm still not. OK with it. I have made my peace with the fact that it is likely to happen occasionally. But that doesn't mean I need to be OK with it.

In point of fact: I fucking hate it.

It has happened before. It will almost certainly happen again. And I will hate it then, too. But, as it turns out, my rebreather instructor was not wrong.

You do this for long enough, and you're going to lose friends diving. Or strangers. Or some rando you knew peripherally, but not well, but who you suddenly have to deal with. And when you are of a certain demographic, "dealing with it" involves getting called at inconvenient times and then having to go "deal with it." Which is never pleasant.

Occasionally people will ask, presumably out of morbid curiosity, "Have you ever had to go get a body?"


I have. Quite a number of times. I tend not to dwell on it because it has never been an occasion I relish remembering.

When you swim alongside some vacant eyes for a while, it is... not fun.

I lost a friend this week. A sweet, wonderful person. To add insult to injury, I have to watch a bunch of people impugning their ability as a diver... like they were just a complete fuckup who decided that dying would really show the community what-for.

I've lost friends diving before. I've had to go get them. I've lost dive friends and not had to go get them. It's never good. Ever. Lost divers are straightforward enough, anyway.

I'm not going to lie: I'll be missing my buddy for a long time. A long time. He was funny.

Recent Posts

See All


Nelly tells a story from Roatan where, on her daily boat, there was one of THOSE divers. “DIVE CADDY!” they’d continually call all week. For reasons that could vary from, “I’d like my hot towel and my

Eenie, Meanie, Miney...

How do you pick an instructor when you don’t know shit? At any level of diving? You need an instructor because you don’t know shit… but you want to. You’re hiring someone who knows something you w

How Hard is it to Ask?

1 in 4 women have experienced sexual assault to some degree in their lives. This is not to suggest that every 4th woman that you meet has been violently raped at knifepoint - but, statistically, you


bottom of page